A Grand Old Robbery: A Musical

[Smartguy]

The Martins' Suite

[MUSIC CUE #1: "Pink Panther Theme"]

Zack walks in wearing a long black trench coat, a white button down, black pants and a black Al Pacino hat. He turns to see his brother, Cody, at his desk. Cody wears a white button down shirt and khaki pants. He is looking over some documents when he turns and sees Zack.

Cody: Zack, how...that's impossible...you're supposed to be...dead...I thought...when you were caught by Moseby, I thought you'd die in prison, really I would...how'd you get out?

Zack: Poor, pathetic little Cody.

Zack crosses over to Cody.

Zack: How could I not have escaped? It was all too easy.

[MUSIC CUE #2: "Life of Crime"]

Song Details: "Life of Crime", original score by Smartguy, is a jazzy song describing Zack's life in prison and Zack's attempts to sway Cody.

Zack:
I LIVED IN A DIRTY OLD JAIL CELL
I LIVED IN A DIRTY OLD POT OF SWEAT
HOW CAN YOU SAY I COULDN'T ESCAPE?
IT WAS A NECCESSITY...
I HATED THAT PLACE.

AND NOW YOU SHALL SEE
MY LIFE OF CRIME
DOESN'T STOP HERE
I'M GOING ON
WILL YOU COME WITH ME?

Cody:
HOW CAN YOU ASK ME TO JOIN YOU?
HOW CAN YOU ASK ME RIGHT NOW?
HOW CAN YOU DO THIS WHEN I'M ON THE VERGE
OF A SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY
HOW CAN YOU ASK ME NOW?
HOW CAN YOU ASK ME NOW?
TO JOIN YOUR LIFE OF CRIME...
I'll never join you, Zack. Never in a million years.

Zack:
WELL THEN...

Cody:
WELL THEN...

Zack and Cody:
WELL THEN...

Zack: Time to die.

Zack takes out an air dart gun and shoots at Cody. Cody jumps out of the way.

Cody:
NEVER WILL I...

Zack:
OH YES YOU WILL...

Zack: | Cody:
Join me Join you

Zack and Cody:
(Louder, and last note extended)
IN THAT LIFE OF CRIME!!!

(Music stops)

Zack: Join me...

Cody: Never...

Cody races out onto the balcony, and suddenly becomes aware that he is 23 floors above the ground. Zack comes up behind him and pushes him over the edge.

(Music starts again)

Zack:
IN MY LIFE OF CRIME!!!

[Saint Jimmy]

That sounds awesome! I can't believe Zack pushed Cody over the ledge! I love the song, too!

[Smartguy]

Outside the Tipton

Maddie runs out, a goblet of grape juice in her hand. She throws it on the ground and it spills all over her shoes.

[MUSIC CUE #3: "Poor little Cody"]

Maddie
HOW CAN IT BE?
HOW CAN IT BE?
THE DEATH OF HIM...
MAKES MY HEART CRY...
BUT WHO COULD'VE KILLED HIM?
POOR LITTLE CODY...
DEAD...IN A SPLASH OF BLOOD...

Cody appear behind Maddie, alive. He hides in the bushes.

Maddie
MAYBE IT IS NOT TRUE
MAYBE HE IS NOT DEAD
MAYBE HE IS NOT DEAD
POOR LITTLE CODY...

Maddie runs back into the Tipton. Cody emerges from his hiding place in the bushes.

Cody: It is safe, now.

Rebecca runs out and hugs Cody. She gives him about a five second kiss on the lips.

Rebecca: Oh, Cody, darling, how could he? How could you have survived that dreadful---

Cody: That wasn't me.

Cody kisses her on the lips.

Cody: That was Eric, the agent who was protecting me while I was doing my research. But we must assume the theory that I am dead...for now.

Rebecca: Oh, we will, we will, after this!

Rebecca pushes Cody up to the wall and kisses him on the lips madly as the scene fades to the next scene.

[Saint Jimmy]

Whoa...what a surprise. More!